cha-ching

Where does money go?

A little here and there, some everywhere.

It's easy to spend money, but hard to put where it matters most.

It's especially hard to match your dollars with your mouth.

My mouth is bigger than my heart.

shop 'til you drop

We went on a shopping excursion on Friday.  Our first stop: Sam's Club (non-members-get-in-free-day).  The whole trip went something like this:

"How much are these gatorades per bottle?"
"About 70 cents."
"How much are these packets of propel?"  

Jesse quickly calculates on his phone.

 
"About 20 cents per packet."
"Okay. It's cheaper to add those to the 12 cent water bottles instead of buying gatorade. We need more water."

. . . and back down the aisle we went.

Or

"How much are these M&Ms per ounce?. . . okay, how many ounces are in a regular bag? . . . what a rip off, we can get them cheaper at the drugstore!"


Our next stop was to a Goodwill.

me - "Which exit is it on?"
Jesse - "Exit 64."

A few miles later... exit 64 approaches. Blinker on.
 
Jesse - "What are you doing? It's exit 62!"
"You said exit 64."
"It's exit 62."

Quickly change lanes and pass exit 64.


Me - "I could've sworn you said 64."

Jesse looks at map.

Jesse - "I mean. . . it's on exit 64."
"Oh well. We can just go to the other stores first. I think there's some off of exit 62."

. . . 6 miles later . . .

Me - "Where is this place? It should be right around here."
"I think you already passed it."
"No way! Hey, wait, look! There's the vegan restaurant we wanted to try. Let's stop here!"
"They don't look open."

. . . parked in front of the door, read sign:"Lounge For Sale."

Me - "Ah man! I'm so upset! Boo hoo. Oh well. Let's try to find that other store."

. . . 3 minutes later. . .
 
Me - "I don't think this street exists! Forget this store, let's go back and try to find Goodwill."

. . . 6 miles later . . .
 
Me - "There it is! Oh noooooo. . . are you serious?!"
"What?"
"It's a donation center only! That's okay. Let's go back to the other side of the highway and check out those other thrift stores. You can drive this time."

. . . several miles later. . .

Me - "We should be close. It's right around here. We should pass it any. . . whoops, we just passed it."
"What about this one? There's another one right there."

. . . park car, get out. . .

Me - "This is weird, how do we get in? Where's the door?"
"Oops, we already passed it."
"How embarrassing. How did we miss the door?! Let's pretend like we meant to do this, like we were just looking at all the furniture outside."
"Or we could just not take ourselves so seriously."

. . . a few minutes later . . .

Me - "Eww, this place is disgusting! There's dirt on everything!"
"They need to clean up around here. They could at least hose down the mudcaked bicycles before bringing them in."
"I wouldn't want to try on any of these clothes before buying them. So gross. Let's go the Plato's Closet instead."

. . . a few miles later. . .

Jesse - "What street were we supposed to turn onto?"
"Joyce."
"Oh man, I'm in the wrong lane."
"Why are you in the wrong lane? You've still got a few blocks to go."
"We just passed Joyce."

. . . one u-turn and a right turn later. . .

Me - "Where is it? It's here somewhere. I know it's still in business. . . uh-oh, how'd we get in Johnson? Turn around."

. . . one more u-turn later . . .

"Look in this plaza, it's probably in there."
"No, I already loo... quick, there it is, turn now! You were right. . ."

Our navigation skills aren't really that bad. We were just tired! I promise!

How old?

For as long as I can remember, people have thought I'm much older than I actually am.  I'm not sure why - maybe my darker complexion and height give the illusion of maturity.

Example:
When I was in seventh grade I went with my sister and mom to Oklahoma State University's registration day.  My sister, Andrea, was planning on enrolling in the music program there.  When we walked around a foyer filled with booths, information desks, and employees, I was asked numerous times what degree I was going to get.

Example:
When I was fourteen, I went with my sister, Deanna, to a huge bridal show at the Marland Mansion in Ponca City.  Again, there were many booths set up with information on rings, photography, cakes, catering, attire, etc.  I was asked over and over again when I was getting married.

Example:
I went to India when I was fifteen (I turned 16 on the trip) with my sister and brother-in-law.  One day we took a train to Agra to tour the Taj Mahal.  As we were reveling in its beauty and taking photos of each other, an Indian family approached us.  They asked to take photos with us, and we obliged.  I remember feeling a little creeped out by the way one of the older men was posing with me. I later learned via my sister that one of the ladies was interested in setting me up with a marriage to her older brother (the one posing with me).  He was about 40 and can be seen standing beside/behind me in the following picture.  Of course, in India, I guess age hasn't traditionally been taken into account. . .

All that to say, a few weeks ago I'd been hanging out with some fellow staffers at camp, Ryan (16) and Chelsea (19) while waiting for my ropes course group to arrive.  After they got there, I walked over to meet them and a 14ish year-old promptly asked me if those were my two kids that I just left.

Are you serious?!  I know I look older than I am, but do I seriously look 40?!

- - - - - - -

On the opposite extreme, the director's 5 year-old daughter asked me if Jesse was my da-da (dad).  That's reassuring, as people usually think me a cradle robber.

a bug on a leash!

A few weeks ago a boy at camp caught a flying beetle and gently tied a string around its neck.  After attaching the other end to a stick it was "3, 2, 1 launch!"  The bug was tossed into the air where it began to fly in circles around its new master.

Pet beetles?  They're going to be the new pet rock.

The only thing I did that was remotely close to that was to make a leash for my bunny with yarn. Unfortunately, I'd accidentally tied it in a slip knot and almost asphyxiated my own pet. It was a traumatic experience for both of us.

When I was a kid, I didn't do anything particularly creative. Definitely not as creative has having a Kite Bug, anyway.  My sister and I once sat on our front porch and chopped Rolly Pollies in half with our scissors (in fact, I think I may still have those scissors)  There were hundreds of them before we started our genocide.

Another time, my sisters and I set up boxing ring in our front yard.  We got some chairs and then connected them with yarn to make a square ring.  Unfortunately, our days as boxers were cut short after my mom investigated the ruckus.

Dragging each other down the stairs on sheets and blankets was also a common occurrence, despite the carpet burns and bruises we'd get.

When we lived in Oklahoma, we had an old shed in our pasture.  We collected artifacts (pieces of glass, old jewelry, coins, etc) and bones that we found and arranged them in there.  We called it our "museum" and opened it up for business.  We even had a log swing inside. Our customers were charged 5 cents to ride on it (or they would have been, if our mom hadn't discovered our fees sign).

In our tall weeds along the fence, we built a "house" by smashing down the grass.  We could play there for hours. There were plenty of rooms for everyone, connected by "hallways." We even built a loo so we wouldn't be inconvenienced. We had our own snack machine too, thanks to the large mulberry tree the grew above our "house."

- - - - - - - -

What kind of things did you play as a child?

do you ever wonder why?

what is it that makes you who you are?

that causes you such agonizing pain?

to be so become cold and distant?

so emotionless and lifeless?

lost and confused?

tired and lonely?

- - - - -

What is it that holds you back from being free?  Free to fly, free to dream, free to feel, free to laugh and cry?

why do you imprison yourself in these walls you've constructed?

no time.

I've been working in an office the last 19 days.  I've had no time and no desire to spend a lot of time on the computer, but I do miss communicating with my friends and family.

I've learned this week that I don't smile if I'm sleepy.  When I'm sleepy, I feel like a zombie and I probably look like one too.  I guess my brain just decides it can't waste energy smiling or laughing.

However, this last year I've learned that I smile a lot more when my life is a fast paced.  When I have lots to do and everything's crazy, I think I feed off of that energy and become a lot more cheerful.  It's weird.  I don't get stressed out.  I think I'm the strangest person ever.

Maintaining a marriage sure is hard though, when things get crazy.  I feel like I've barely seen Jesse at all these last 2-3 weeks.  Actually, marriage is hard anyway.  It's hard to be intentional.  It's easy to sit around watching Dr. Who together and just be friends, but it's an effort to open up and communicate, grow together, push each other, and listen to each other.  It's definitely too easy to just "skate by" in marriage, but it sure is difficult to have a vibrant, living, exciting marriage.  It's kind of like school.  It's too easy to do the bare minimum to get an A, rather than just going all out and doing to best you can and investing a lot into it.  We're quick to become content with just getting by.  Of course, there's sometimes when you have to just accept that this is as good as it's going to be for awhile (like these last few weeks. . . ).

I'm just excited I have the rest of my life to spend with my Jesse. :)

shwoosh

tick tick tock.

time skips by with no order.  has it been a minute?  an hour?  a year?

new names, new faces, new stories, new places, new roles.

life keeps rolling along, even when I'm not ready.

questions keep coming, but the answers escape me.

the anticipation is great, but my mind wanders and my attention fades.

why i can't just stick with something, i don't know.

cooking

I haven't done much cooking lately.  It's been kind of nice.  I've been eating lots of salads and vegetables and fruits at home.  I've also eaten many of my meals at work (one of the perks of working in the food service industry).  To be honest, I've been kind of spoiled by the food there.  I eat lots of delicious (but bad for me) foods like fresh white rolls, chicken chardonnay, chicken marsala, chicken parmesan (lots of chicken), asparagus, vegetable medleys, steaks, caprese salad, potatoes, green beans, salads, hamburgers, and sandwiches.  Because of this, I haven't been as motivated to cook at home.

Part of my lack of cooking is also because I've been trying to change the way we eat.  I've started buying a few organic things, but really don't have the budget or the option of buying everything organically.  The farmer's market opens up in town this week though, so I'm excited.

I think Jesse and I are also slowly becoming vegetarians.  Not intentionally, but since meat is expensive and I'd rather buy vegetables with my money, we haven't eaten it as much.  Now when we do eat it, we don't enjoy it as much as we used to (I've never been able to finish the serving of meat I get at work).

Another thing that's made me more reluctant to cook is that I've been trying to cut back on carbs.  It seems like the majority of the interesting recipes I see are flour and sugar based.

All this has also caused us to unintentionally reduce our dairy consumption.  I love cheese and butter, but have realized we've used way less cheese, butter, sour cream, and milk (though we've been using nut milks most recently) than we used to. I don't think I'll ever cut it out completely, but it is nice to free up that portion of our budget.

When I went grocery shopping yesterday, I had a fun game of reading the labels on food.  It was crazy annoying to see food colorings (petroleum based), high fructose corn syrup, nitrites, preservatives, and other things in just about everything I picked up.

I don't want to be obsessed with this stuff though, I just want to be informed and make good choices for my body.  I want to put the right foods in my body and take care of it - the foods God designed it to use.   Similarly, I'm not going to put 87 octane fuel in a car designed for 91 octane fuel.  I think I'll occasionally indulge in something not so good for me though, I just don't want that to be a regular part of my diet.

Work work work

I've been working a lot recently.   It's been fun.  And extremely tiring.  It took me a full day to recover.

I'm really enjoying my job, which is funny considering I went into it thinking I would hate it.  My first week I got tossed right in and experienced quite a lot.  I thought for sure I would get fired after being severely cussed out by one of my co-workers.  After some thinking, I decided I was going to do my best despite the attitudes of the people I work with.

And it's paid off. :-)  This week I worked hard and did everything that was assigned to me, plus some. It was tiring, but I'm learning to love my job and love the people I work with.  No, I don't want this job for the rest of my life, but there's plenty of things I can learn here.  Most importantly, I'm learning to be committed to something and how to get along with a variety of people.  That's something I can take with me no matter where I go.

I'm excited to see how this job makes me a better person. :)

nuts

I love nuts. All of them.  Almonds, pecans, walnuts, pistachios, brazil nuts, hazelnuts, macadamia, pine, peanuts... (we're going by culinary definitions here!).  If you give me a nut, I'll be happy.  I promise. Thank God I don't have oral allergy syndrome, because my life would be over.

Cashews are probably my favorite nut (followed closely by pine nuts, pecans, and peanuts), and I just discovered I am allergic to them.  I am sad.

A few years ago I bought 2 pounds of cashews. They were roasted and delicious and my mouth still waters at the memory.  Nuts just might be my addiction; I can never eat just one. So, in less than 48 hours, I ate all 2 pounds of the cashews.  Yes, all of them.

Something funny happened to me after that.  I got a rash.  All over my arms and legs.  It itched, but it was only mild.  I made a mental note that perhaps it was an allergic reaction to the cashews.  I don't eat cashews very often, so over the next few years I never ate them.  Last year I munched on some cashews at my in-law's home but nothing happened, so I told myself I wasn't allergic to them.

Last week my husband and I were in Austin for his spring break.  We were staying at his sister's home, which is just a few blocks from a hike and bike trail.  One morning we got up and took the dog on a walk.  It's a beautiful trail, right on the edge of Lady Bird Lake. After a couple miles, we turned around.  It was then that I noticed the whole trail was surrounded by beautiful, green, leafy plants.  Poison ivy.  Everywhere.  I'm horribly allergic to poison ivy.  I don't even have to touch it to get it, the oils just need to be in the air around me.  I've gotten it twice all over my body.  All over my body, in every place you can imagine.  I think the worst place to get it is inbetween your toes and fingers, because they're constantly rubbing against each other and those spots get sweaty easily.

Later that day, we went to Whole Foods on North Lamar and I bought half a pound of raw almonds.  I ate about 2 ounces of them.

The next day, I woke up with a rash all over my arms.  I never get stressed (ask my husband), however this morning I began to feel a little bit panicky and we rushed over to HEB to find some medication.  Problem is, I wasn't sure if the rash was from poison ivy or cashews.  After much deliberation and a discussion with the pharmacist, I decided it was probably a cashew allergy and bought the recommended Zyrtec - the most expensive drug I've ever bought.  It was $25 for the generic brand.  After 48 hours of Zyrtec, the rash went away.  So, I've come to the depressing conclusion that I'm allergic to cashews.

I did some research on cashew allergies and found that lots of people who are allergic to poison ivy are also allergic to cashews. Apparently cashews and poison ivy are cousins - so beware of cashews if you're allergic to poison ivy. I also discovered that cashews are closely related to mangos and pistachios.  I'm crossing my fingers that I'm not also allergic to those

I sure am going to miss my cashews. :(

division

I'm sure my presence has been greatly missed.  I've been busy, very busy.

. . . busy relaxing on my spring break.

One thought:

division.

Why?  Why do we as humans allow ourselves to be so divided?  Obviously we're divided geographically and by language, but besides that.  Yes, everyone's different, but why do so many people gloat about it?  Everyone thinks and acts like they're *that* much better than everyone else.  Their language is better, their traditions are better, their religion is better (and within that, their sect/denomination is better), their clothing is better, their hair is better, their food is better, their lifestyles are better, their family ties are better... I could go on and on.

I'm not completely naive, as I do expect that to some degree, but I expect it so much less from adults who've lived life and seen things.  I expect this attitude more from the youth and less exposed populations, but I just don't get it when older adults walk about with pride.  I for one love different cultures and different aspects of different places and ethnic groups.  Yes, we're different, but that shouldn't divide us.  Why can't we embrace the fact that different doesn't mean worse/lesser/bad?  Admit the fact that we don't have it all together?   Maybe we *should* start looking at how other people do things, because we're definitely not perfect.  And, even within religions, while I believe there is only one truth, I do think all other religions are intriguing and have great traditions that I should perhaps carry into my own life.  And within my own faith, why should I pretend like I have all the answers?  If my God was small enough for me to understand, small enough for me to have all the answers about, why would I want to worship him?  There's so much to know, so much to understand, so much truth to grow in... let's not get stuck in rut and see only what we've known.

Let's open our eyes and admit we just *might* be wrong.  Let's embrace our differences and love each other because of them, not in spite of them.

star wars

me - "Are you going to make your kids watch Star Wars?"

Jesse - "No."

me - "What if they want to watch it?"

Jesse - "Okay."

me - "What if they want you to watch it with them?"

Jesse - "Then I will paint eyeballs on my eyelid and take a nap while they're distracted by the movie."

heavy topics

two heavy topics in my family violence class the last two weeks.

religion based medical neglect

and

ritualistic child abuse.

oh.  my.  goodnesss.

they make me want to run around and kill everyone.  it's not a christian thing to say, but i'm so angry toward "christians."  i'm fighting desires to hate them.  can your closest ally also be your greatest enemy?  i'm beginning to think so.

Italian Broccoli Pasta

I'm not really sure if the roots of this recipe are truly Italian.  I do know that the original recipe was from a family with Italian roots.  I have to say, this is one of the world's simplest recipe and I especially love that there's really no right way to make it; it's all personal preference.

Italian Broccoli Pasta

~1 lb pasta (I used 13.5 oz whole wheat penne)
~1 lb broccoli, chopped into bite sized pieces (depends on how much you like broccoli; we love it)
~1/2 head of red/purple cabbage
1/2-1lb sausage (again, it depends on how much you like meat)
1/3-1/2 cup olive oil
5-8 cloves of garlic, minced (we are garlic lovers)
1-2 t. red pepper flakes (how spicy do you like your food?)
salt and ground black pepper to taste
parmesan cheese to taste (if you want it)

1. Bring the water to a boil, cook pasta.
2. Steam the cabbage and broccoli until it's as tender as you like it.  I like mine with a little crunch, rather than just mush (the noodles are already mushy, we need some variety!).
3. Brown and crumble the sausage. Drain the grease. (I think chicken would also be yummy in this dish)
4. Put the oil in a sauce pan or frying pan, add the garlic and red pepper, cook on low for about 10 minutes.  (note: do NOT heat the oil first and then add the garlic, or the garlic will fry and burn.)  You can use a colander/sieve to separate the oil from the garlic/red pepper after this, or just leave together (which I usually do, to avoid having another dish to wash).  Basically, you're just making garlic/red pepper infused olive oil.
5. Combine the above ingredients.  Top with some freshly grated parmesan cheese (we've had it both ways, and of course it tastes better with it, but it's also fine without).

 
This isn't an especially flavorful dish, but it's a simple, fun, colorful, and inoffensive dish to make (unless you've got a vegetable hater in the family).  As Jesse put it, "You know, this isn't one of my favorite meals, but I can't stop eating it!"

Jesse also said that it looked like a fake, plastic-y dish because the broccoli and cabbage were so bright and colorful.  Isn't it sad when we think only food colorings make things colorful?  Fruits and vegetables are so beautiful.  The cabbage wasn't in the original recipe.  I added that because a) we had it and needed to use it and b) I love to eat colorful foods!

cauliflower and rice

On Monday I made some roasted cauliflower and a rice pilaf.

I had bought some cauliflower, but Jesse doesn't particularly care for it raw, which is how I've always eaten in it.  So, I tried something new (roasting it) which is something that most people have probably done before.  I guess I just like my veggies raw.   Jesse liked it this way.  I didn't put the cheese on it, but I imagine he would've liked it even more with the cheese...

I didn't have spinach, but I think the spinach would've tasted delicious in the rice.  I also didn't have pine nuts, so I just chopped up some walnuts instead.  Totally not the same.  Pine nuts would've been scrumptious.  I also used twice as many mushrooms as the recipe called for because we love mushrooms, plus they were starting to go bad.

There's so many recipes I want to try.  Why am I so addicted to trying new things?  I think it's a good thing, because I'm eating such a variety of food and ingredients, so I'm getting a more balanced diet than I would if I ate the same meals over and over again.  Or at least, that's what I keep telling myself...

fluffy pancakes

Yesterday morning I made up a recipe for some fluffy pancakes.  Jesse really enjoyed them.  I love that they aren't heavy like whole wheat pancakes usually are, yet they are filling and flavorful.

3/4 c. whole wheat flour
1/2 cup almond flour
1/2 cup white flour
2 t. aluminum free baking powder
5 t. sugar
1/2 t. salt
2 eggs, separated
1 1/4 cup milk

1.  In a medium sized bowl, mix the dry ingredients together.
2. In a separate bowl (glass or metal, NOT plastic), beat the eggs whites on medium speed until fluffy and firm peaks form.
3. Beat the yolks with the milk, add to the dry ingredients and mix.
4. Gently fold in the egg whites into the flour/milk mixture, being careful not to over mix.
5. Use 1/2 c. measuring cup, pour batter into a heated frying pan.  Cook over medium-low heat on a nonstick pan (if you have a good quality pan, you won't need to oil the pan), flipping when the edges begin to look dry and firm and bubbles begin to form.

(optional) Healthier add in ideas. After pouring the batter into the pan, sprinkle in some chopped nuts, berries (chopped strawberries or whole blueberries are good), or chopped apple.  You could also put the fruits on after they've been cooked. Another option is some pure maple syrup or sugar-free jam spread over the cooked pancakes. Be creative!

9 miles

This weekend was my first at my job.

It was exhausting, but actually kind of fun.  I walked 9 miles and stood for 1000 miles, I'm sure.  I work with an interesting group of people.  They're all very nice but they have their quirks.  Of course, a week when everyone is working overtime and stressed to their max probably won't give me the best impression of everyone.  But really, I work with some great people.

Also, I just wanted to say that I really, really, really like our new church.

Last, I'm looking forward to spring break.  It's currently week 6 of 17 of classes, and I'm having my first test this week.  It's about time. :-)

i'm a person too

Sometimes I get sad and insecure.  Don't we all?

Do people really do like me do they just tolerate me?  I am opinionated and say things I don't necessarily believe, just so I can get a reaction.  I argue for one side of the coin with one person and the other side with someone else... just for the sake of a good discussion.  Most of the time I'm not truly passionate about any topic.

Despite my flaws, i do love you. I really do. I may not always like you and may not be able to be in your presence you for very long, but I pay attention, I listen, I know things about you.  I know what you like and don't like.  I file it away in my brain.  Sometimes I forget, but it's not very often.  When it comes to people, I almost never forget... not your name, not your birthday (if you've told me), stories you've told me, things you've experienced... if I've spent time with you, it's significantly impacted me.  I remember you for a very long time.

I notice you because you're a person.  I notice if you seem down, if you seem overwhelmed, sad, stressed, lonely, insecure, distracted... I don't usually say anything, but it affects me.  On the other hand, this sometimes creates a problem for me.  I notice how you treat me, if you treat me differently, if you seem upset at me.... I notice it.  I notice that you ignore me or avoid me.  I notice when you're short with me.  I notice when you truly are just tolerating me.  I notice when I'm not accepted.  I notice when we just need time apart to work through our differences.

When this happens I start analyzing it, sifting through memories, paying attention to what I say, what other people say about you, so I can try to figure out what's wrong.  If i can't figure it out, I shut down.  When I'm rejected or confronted, that's my immediate response - to shut down.  I became detached and emotionally distant.  It's what I've always done.  People don't realize this because my secondary response, is much stronger and louder - my survival response, to fight. Except, because of response number one, I used to do it emotionally detached.  I think that's part of the reason I was able to make anybody cry in my former years - I was cold. I couldn't feel their pain anymore.  The other part is because I do know so much about you, I've also observed your weakness. I know how to make you hurt.

Knowledge is power... but power is sometimes death.

Now I'm learning how to balance this. and it sucks. I'm learning to let things go, to breath, to use my fight response in a different way.

Now I have a physically difficult time make insensitive comments (about 15% of the time, something still slips out).  That doesn't mean I don't think insensitive thoughts. It just means I can't speak them. I'm becoming less detached and more empathetic to what people feel (when I'm angry).  and. I don't want my words to be what gives someone a the little push they need before toppling over the edge.  I've already hurt too many people in my life.

I'm ready to move on.  I'm ready to forgive - both myself and you.

cream of veggie soup

I invented a new recipe today. I didn't take any pictures since I wasn't sure how the recipe would turn out.  Maybe I'll take a photo later. I was needing to use up some of my veggies, since they were starting to go bad. 

So I threw this together:

cream of veggie soup

3 potatoes, cleaned and chopped
3/4 cup chopped broccoli
1 1/2 cups chopped cauliflower
2ish cups vegetable broth
3ish cups beef broth (I used 3 cups water and 2 bouillon cubes)
1 T oil
3/4 cup purple cabbage, roughly chopped
2 leeks, sliced and rinsed
4-6 cloves garlic, minced
6 white mushrooms, roughly chopped
1/4-1/2 t. dry thyme
3/4 t. dry basil
3/4 t. dry parsley
1/4 cup milk (optional)
sausage, browned and crumbled (optional)
grated cheese (optional)

1.  Put the potatoes, cauliflower, and broccoli in a stock pot with the beef and vegetable broth and turn heat on medium.
2.  Meanwhile, in a saute pan saute the leeks and garlic in the oil until the leeks are getting limp.  Then add the mushrooms and cabbage and cover for 1-2 minutes, until the cabbage is wilted.
3.  Add leek mixture to the stock pot, bring to boil.  Cook until the potatoes are tender.  Add the thyme, basil, and parsley.  Remove from heat. 
4.  Blend soup until creamy (if using a stand blender, you'll have to work in batches, filling the blender only about half way)
5.  Add milk (I used goat milk, and only because the soup was looking a little thick). 
6.  Fold in cheese (I used about 2-3 ounces of a Parmesan and Irish cheddar mixture) and sausage.

I was a little worried about how it would taste because the color (muddy green) didn't look that appetizing.  It sure did taste yummy though.

****edit****

Here's some photos.

blood.

Here's a sneak peak to some photos of Jonathan's injury several days ago. 

After learning the very basics of Lightroom, I've become a little bit too proud to use the very basic editing tools that come on iPhoto, so I'm not sure when the edited versions will be done.  Probably next week sometime, depending on how many hours I work.




And yes, I strongly believe in editing.  Before taking my traditional darkroom class, I thought truly good photos didn't need editing. Now I realize how much "editing" has been done traditionally and think it is part of photography.  To refuse to edit is like painting with only one brush.












I had fun taking these photos.  Injuries are painful to the victim, but fascinating to me as a photographer (a very amateur one, at that).  I very much enjoy observing and trying to capture the wide variety of reactions to blood... if only camera lens didn't fog up.

sex offenders

My discussion question in my family violence class this week asks if current sex registry laws and neighborhood notifications are effective in protecting children from sexual abuse.

While I haven't finished my response, my immediate response is "no."

Why?  Almost 90% of sexual abuse against children is committed by family members or acquaintances of the child.

I think the registry makes people paranoid for naught.  Most offenders aren't going to grab children off the streets.

What do you think?

the problem of the weight

My sisters are such cuties.  My brother is such a darling.  I can't help but want to squeeze him and smother him with hugs and kisses every time him every time I see him.

One of my amiable sisters and I have recently started keeping tabs on each other's diets/weight.  It's kind of fun!  I think long distance sibling relationships have some advantages, the main one being that neither of us can get annoyed at each other for anything the other one is doing, and thus the lines of communication are consistently open.

So far she's lost 6 pounds (high five!) and I've lost about 3.  We've both been eating more vegetables and have been watching our portion sizes

I would blame my weight gain on being newly married, but I know that's not true.  I actually lost a few pounds the first two months of marriage (after gaining on the honeymoon, haha).  However, I've gained about 10 pounds since October. . . not July.  I think I know what's to blame (okay, besides my lack of self control when it comes to food).

Since October, Jesse and I have been helping to do an internet and in-house broadcast of the basketball teams.  At every game, we get pizza.  Tons of pizza.  We usually have two and a half leftover pizzas, plus bread sticks.  At first it was delicious, but I got tired of it.  But you see, I have this bad habit of eating when I socialize, especially when everyone in the room is eating.  So even when I was tired of it, I just kept eating.  Plus, the smell of it is just amazing.

At the basketball games, none of us practice self control.  Instead, we dive happily into the pizza to satisfy our stomachs and stress.

After my pants started getting a little tighter, I started to wonder... but didn't link the pizza to anything.

This semester I am still helping out with the basketball games, only I did a little research in the pizza company's website.  Each piece of pizza had nearly 300 calories in it.

Last semester, I had been consuming anywhere from 2-4 slices of pizza per game, plus a bread stick, plus garlic bread squares, plus whatever other snacks were around.  Plus my other two meals a day.

I'm pretty sure that was the downfall, because I've noticed myself more easily maintaining/losing weight now that a) there are fewer basketball games and b) I've limited myself to two pieces of pizza per game.

I'm glad I'm still young and it's relatively easy for me to lose weight.  It's not as easy as it was when I was 15, however.  Does it get harder every year?

babies

This is the little girl I get to hang out with a couple times a week.  Isn't she a cutie?

I've become an aunt for the second time.  I look forward to meeting my new niece (the first on my side of the family!), Kenna Michelle.

snow, snow, everywhere

A few days ago we got dumped on with an inch of ice and 6 inches of snow.  It might snow again tomorrow.  And Sunday.

I actually don't mind the snow, but I just don't like it in the places I've lived.  Why?  Because there's absolutely nothing you can do with it.  I mean, beyond the snowball fights and the snow angels and snowmen.  That's only fun the first day.

I love the white powdery stuff.  It's beautiful.  I just wish I lived somewhere I could actually enjoy it - like Colorado where I could snow board, or northern Minnesota where I could snowmobile.  Just... not in this flat, boring land.  Here it's just an inconvenience because our states (and vehicles!) aren't equipped for snow storm (like, where are the snow plows?).

However, I definitely still like the winter better than the summer. :-)

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Here's something interesting I spotted on a friend's facebook:

• Go to Google Translate
• Type in "fun ghoul"
• Translate to Russian
• Translate the Russian back to English
• Laugh

How people find things like this?  I haven't a clue.

good reads

I got a book from the library.

"the Mediterrasian Way"

by Ric Watson and Trudy Thelander

I really like it so far.  It explains in a simple vocabulary that's easy for anyone to grasp. I'm learning a lot about the foods I eat, why they're good, why they're bad... not just that they are good or bad.

The recipes look yummy too, but I hadn't tried anything. Maybe after my next trip to the grocery store... :-)

warm your bones.

The last two days, I've made soup. . . the two days that have been above 50 degrees.  Figures.

Today's was cream-less Toscana soup.  I think I might like it better this way.  It's lighter and more refreshing.

I used...
4 potatoes
3-4 cups of chicken broth/vegetable broth (I used a combination)
5 cloves of garlic, minced
1/3-1/2 cup yellow onion
Italian Sausage (however much you like)
Kale (again, however much you like. I used 1-2 cups)

It's yummy.  Boil the potatoes in the broth until they're soft.  Boiling them in the broth makes the potatoes taste delicious by themselves.  Saute the onion and garlic together, add it to the boiled potatoes.  Brown the sausage, add it to the potatoes, remove from heat.  Chop the kale into bite sized pieces, add it to the soup, and put lid on for about 5 minutes, until the kale is tender (but not mushy!)

It's pretty quick and easy to make. . . Jesse took a shower in the time I made the soup, anyhow.

do you see a person looking over a child in the steam?

Anyway, tonight I'm broadcasting the basketball games.  It's fun.  It will be interesting, as we're on our own tonight.  The cheerleaders are also sponsoring "80's night" so I'm supposed to dress up.  The thing is, I don't have any 80's clothes.  Also. . . I hate the 80's.  That decade is so overdone.  Can't we be more creative than that?  Even the 70's would be better!  My favorite would be the 40's or 50's... not that I have clothes from those decades either.  But I'm serious.  Organizations need to stop with the 80's thing, because it's not cool anymore... assuming it ever was.

I can see a bird here, I think.

unchristian

Jesse and I just finished this book.

I thought it extremely thought provoking, stimulating, and challenging... as well as a convicting.

I challenge you to read it, regardless of your background.  Christian, Atheist, Buddhist, Baha'i. . . and the list stops there, because I could go on forever.  This books has created a huge window of opportunity.  It will definitely help you to better understand the desires, attitudes, and motivations behind the younger generation (mine!) and will help you to connect better with them, regardless of your "religious" beliefs or "agenda."  Also, if you're not a Christian, it may help you to better understand the Christian community and how they've unknowingly failed and hurt people.

That's all for now.

fatless cornbread

I attempted something new in the kitchen.

Cornbread with no fat.  Unfortunately, there was still more sugar in it than I'd like, so I need to try again.

I used 1/3 cup sunflower pulp, white flour, and whole wheat flour... sugar, honey, eggs, baking powder, cornmeal, and applesauce.  White flour?  Yes.  I'm still experimenting with new ingredients and kinds of baking.  One baby step at a time, I say.

It actually turned out pretty yummy.  It needed more cornmeal and a little less sugar.  I'm excited to try again. I feel like it's pretty much impossible to fail in the kitchen, once you know a few things.  And Jesse's pretty forgiving when it comes to bread/sweets. . . just not over excessive quantities of fresh ginger.

kitchen experiments

I made Sunflower milk a few days ago.

I can't say that I loved the smell of it while I was making it.  It smelled too much like grass/dirt/sprouts... do you get the idea?

I used the same nut/water ratio and process as I did for the almond milk.

I used a little of the milk in an egg I was cooking.  It turned my egg a strange brownish color.  I can't say I was a huge fan of that.

I'm not sure what it's like to cook with.  I haven't experimented yet.

The taste though. . . let's just say I don't plan on making this again.

p.s. it's been a good six months. :-)

purple potatoes

purple!

 I'd heard about these beautiful creatures before, but had never found them anywhere. . . not until I was at the health food store about a month ago.  I spotted the beauties, but ended up not buying any.  Bad decision.  I couldn't get the little spuds out of my mind.  Two weeks ago when we were back in Fayetteville, I bought a few of them.

so pretty

I browsed online looking for an interesting recipe to use them in, but I couldn't find anything that especially piqued my interest.  They sat on the counter for about eight days until I decided to bake them in the oven like I do white potatoes.  I could at least compare their taste that way.

garlic, thyme, rosemary, basil, olive oil

I smashed them with my fork once they came out of the oven.  They looked mostly brown before I smashed them, which isn't very visually interesting.

They were pretty and they were yummy!  I think they cook a little faster than russets, but the flavor is actually pretty close, unlike that of the sweet potato.  I thought it would be much more flavorful than it was.

Today I leave you with a photo of my small but functional kitchen.  It's probably where I spend the most of my time, besides the bedroom, of course.

The Little Rock Nine

John Brown University has different art exhibits throughout the school year.  Tuesday evening, Jesse and I went to the opening of Will Counts' "Target for Intolerance."

As I was reading the story and looking at the photos containing so many different faces, emotions, and actions, I began to feel some what revolted.

By the story?  Yes, in part.

I'll tell you what, never before in my life have I been so embarrassed to be white.

I've been embarrassed to be a Christian before, I'm almost always embarrassed to be American, but I'd never before been embarrassed about the tone of my skin.

What drives a human being to believe they're so great because of the color of their flesh?

I just don't get it.

Why in the world did/do people think they have the right to destroy the life of another human being because one person's melanocytes are more active?  What gives the melanin deficient person the right to feel superior?

I hate it.  I am sorry for the way my "race" treated those of African descent (or really, of any non-European descent).

I just don't "get" this kind of intolerance.  I understand having different values/morals/beliefs, but I don't understand the judgment and condemnation.

What do you think society as a whole is unjustly intolerant about today?  Do you think you're intolerant/over reactive about anything?  Or what things have you been intolerant about in the past that you've now come to realize you've been wrong about?

Shiver shiver

I went grocery shopping yesterday, since I hadn't been for about 15 days and thus had an empty refrigerator.  Unfortunately, I think everyone else in Siloam Springs decided to go shopping as well.  It was crazy.  Maybe it was due to the coming snow storm (we got 3 inches of the white stuff).  I stopped to get gas on the way back and discovered only one pump was available.  All the others were "out of order."

Wal-mart had hundreds of people waddling around with their grossly overloaded grocery carts.  My least favorite store is Wal-mart, so I always go there last.  I have never understood how people manage to fill their carts so full.  It seems impossible to me, because even when I a buy a few things I don't need (fun groceries), I still don't have to stack any of the contents of my cart.  My conclusion is that it's because I don't buy any junk food or many prepackaged items (unless varying cheeses/milks/pastas/canned goods count as prepackaged).

Sometimes the food in those carts look so delicious... and then I look up and see an obese person struggling to push it.  Then I look at the junk food and get a somewhat repulsed feeling in my stomach and become quite happy with my carrots, pineapples, kale, leeks, garlic...

I read about Wal-mart and Michelle Obama's 5 year plan to introduce more healthy foods to people.  What do you think about it?  Will it actually make a difference?  Is it actually beneficial?  Do you think more people will like Wal-mart after this, or will more people hate it?

well hello again.

I'm cold.  My muscles are achey.  I'm also hungry.  It's probably going to snow tomorrow.  It's definitely going to be freezing tomorrow.

My fingers and brain get confused when I alternate between using a Mac and a Windows computer.  Ahhh.

I'm trying to workout more.  Yesterday and today I went jogging around the indoor track and lifted some weights.  I'm sore and stiff now and would say I feel old... except some of the 65-year-old+ men and women were out lapping and out lifting me.  So I guess I don't feel old after all.

Jesse and I have also gone swimming a few times and played racquetball.  I like those both, even though Jesse swims twice as fast as me and is 300 times better at racquetball.  Someday I'll beat him.

Today I made tortellini and a tomato based sauce for dinner.  I was under impressed.  I think I won't eat tortellini again, unless I'm eating it in Italy.  It wasn't bad, it just wasn't that good (flavor or nutrition).

I suppose I'll get back to my reading assignment now. . .

Almond Milk

I think I've been inspired!  Making almond milk was fun!  Now I want to try making cashew milk/rice milk/sunflower seed milk.  It would be nice if the sunflower seed milk turned out, because that would be the cheapest to make.  Someday soon I'll try it.

 

 Step one: soak 1 cup of almonds in water overnight (I soaked mine for about 12 hours)

Step two: strain and rinse the almonds.

Step three: put almonds in blender

Step four: add two cups of water to the almonds.

Step five: blend for about a minute.

Step six: strain (ideally, using a cheesecloth, but I don't have one so I made do with what I had)

Step seven: place almond pulp back in blender, add two more cups of water, and repeat steps five and six.

Step eight: consume almond milk!

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I like the taste of the almond milk with cereal and to cook with, but I don't like it plain.  Maybe I would like it more if I diluted it.  However, I also think dairy milk is gross to drink on its lonesome (unless it's chocolate milk!).

Also, some people suggested adding some vanilla extract and a pinch of salt to enhance it.

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I dried out the leftover almond pulp in the oven, ground into a fine powder with my awesome new "spice" mill (coffee grinder), and turned it into an almond flour, of sorts.  Then I made biscuits with it, using equal parts white flour, whole wheat flour, and almond flour.  Next time I'll try without white flour, but I just wanted to get a feel for what would happen.  Instead of dairy milk, I used leftover coconut cream (from when I made curry) and almond milk.

The end result?  The biscuits were amazing!  They were not huge and poofy like canned biscuits, but they were very light and practically disintegrated/melted in my mouth.  Scrumptious.  Next time I think I'll try experimenting with replacing the fats with something else, maybe applesauce.

best friend

Hahah!  I threw the beans away.  I feel like such a waster of food.  But now I've learned my lesson about freezer burnt beans.

I did make almond milk yesterday!  I'll share photos soon.

Yesterday I finally got around to uploading pictures from November/December/January.  It was kind of fun. . . I'd forgotten about some of the photos.

Here are some of me and Jesse at his grandmother's 90th birthday party in November.

I sure do love him.  He's my best friend.

another semester

Break went by too quickly.  We sure did do a lot!

It was nice to relax, hangout out, spend undistracted time with my husband, see our friends, crash with our families, and work on some things.

Tonight I tried making some baked beans with some beans that I've had in the freezer.  Problem is... the beans were freezer burnt and disgusting.  Yuck-o.  I'm trying to decide if I should throw them away and waste food or keep them and waste the calories on something that doesn't taste that good.  I guess it didn't cost that much to make.  hmm.... :-)

On the bright side... I did make some potato wedge/fry things in the oven and they turned out yummy.  Crispy and flavorful.  I think the key is for them to be in a single layer.  And, I notice they cooked better in my dark jelly roll pan than they did on the cookie sheet.  So yes.  At least something turned out scrumpti-licious.

My project for tomorrow, possibly: homemade almond milk.

I'll share photos of my break soon.  For now, I'll just share with you the adorable cuteness I get to wake up beside every morning.