I've been working in an office the last 19 days. I've had no time and no desire to spend a lot of time on the computer, but I do miss communicating with my friends and family.
I've learned this week that I don't smile if I'm sleepy. When I'm sleepy, I feel like a zombie and I probably look like one too. I guess my brain just decides it can't waste energy smiling or laughing.
However, this last year I've learned that I smile a lot more when my life is a fast paced. When I have lots to do and everything's crazy, I think I feed off of that energy and become a lot more cheerful. It's weird. I don't get stressed out. I think I'm the strangest person ever.
Maintaining a marriage sure is hard though, when things get crazy. I feel like I've barely seen Jesse at all these last 2-3 weeks. Actually, marriage is hard anyway. It's hard to be intentional. It's easy to sit around watching Dr. Who together and just be friends, but it's an effort to open up and communicate, grow together, push each other, and listen to each other. It's definitely too easy to just "skate by" in marriage, but it sure is difficult to have a vibrant, living, exciting marriage. It's kind of like school. It's too easy to do the bare minimum to get an A, rather than just going all out and doing to best you can and investing a lot into it. We're quick to become content with just getting by. Of course, there's sometimes when you have to just accept that this is as good as it's going to be for awhile (like these last few weeks. . . ).
I'm just excited I have the rest of my life to spend with my Jesse. :)
